


Honey When You Kill the Lights and Kiss My Eyes I Feel Like a Person for a Moment of My Life

by sentimental_boy



Series: Matt Murdock imagines [73]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 10:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13949250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_boy/pseuds/sentimental_boy





	Honey When You Kill the Lights and Kiss My Eyes I Feel Like a Person for a Moment of My Life

You were blessed with a soulmate who has amber eyes. For a while, you remember worried glances when you could name the whole rainbow. Did you not have a soulmate? Of course, people's soulmates die all the time. Not usually so young, but sometimes babies and kids die. It's the world we live in. But not having a soulmate at all? Could that happen? If it could, it was so rare that it was something your parents had to research. When you realized what color you were missing, everyone let out a sigh of relief. Your grandmother gave you a piece of amber to keep with you, so you could know right away if you found your soulmate. You’d see their eyes, of course, but for most, a whole world lights up around them. For you, it would be much more subtle.

It meant there were few things you couldn’t see the color of. Scotch, beer bottles, old medicine bottles. Honey, stained glass, amber itself. Most of the time you forgot about it. When you did think about it, you’d ask people to describe it to you. They described it as a mix between yellow and brown. To be honest, it sounded gross. Green; blue; rich, dark brown; and stormy, grey eyes are beautiful, but you can’t even picture amber. But to know that there’s another color that you can’t perceive yet? How can that be anything but magical?

The idea of a soulmate, of that one person meant for you, baffles you. Someone is out there right now, waiting to meet you. Waiting for your touch to let them see the color they’ve been missing from their life. You often wonder what it will be like. You'll have nothing to go off of except that someone or something out there thinks you should be together. It’s like the universe is setting you up on a blind date.

-0-

Matt never thought he would find his soulmate, because, well, he’s blind. You can’t see a new color if you can’t see color at all. So, he threw himself into school. Then his internship and work, then Daredevil. He’s dated, of course, but he always knew he was a placeholder. Someone to spend the time with while they waited for who they were supposed to be with. It was fine because neither party was trying to fool the other.

A few girls he dated tried to convince him that they could all of a sudden see brown, like his eyes. Some of them might’ve even been convincing if Matt wasn’t a human lie detector. He would’ve been happy to give these women a chance if they hadn’t tried to take advantage of him. After all, they wanted forever with him and that was a rarity.

-0-

Your day hasn’t been good. Any other day, you would buy a box of wine and drink it until you fell asleep. Tonight though, you didn’t want to be alone. Even if it was going to be a night surrounded by strangers, drinking amber colored liquid. Hence why you’re at your favorite dive bar, sitting in a corner, taking in the sounds around you. You're not expecting to pick anything up, but one conversation does pique your interest.

“How is your soulmate supposed to find you, Matt?”

“What do you mean?”

They’re both a little drunk. Okay, the blond one is a lot drunk. The blind one is feeling good.

“So, first, you’re blind, so you won’t know.”

“Thanks, Foggy. I’ve never thought of that before. It definitely hasn’t been something that’s plagued me since I’ve been old enough to care.”

“Sorry, low blow, I’m drunk.”

“It’s fine. That was only your first point, go on.”

“Okay, well. You can’t see when people try to shake your hand, and they often give up. That’s like half of how all soulmates find each other. How is she supposed to know?”

“Once again, thank you for this insight.”

“You told me to keep going.”

“I know. What else have you discovered?”

“Your glasses.”

“You, and everyone who’s met me.”

“No, your eyes are unique. They’re not a color that most people are going to notice seeing since your glasses are covering your eyes.”

“Foggy, my eyes are brown.”

“Bullshit. Your eyes are amber.”

“That’s a variation of brown.”

“And yellow. Who knows how the universe worked that one out. What if she can’t see brown or yellow? But I say it’s a distinct color.”

“Name one thing other than my eyes and actual amber that’s amber.”

“This beer that I’m drinking. Your scotch. This beer bottle. There you go. Three things. And that's my point. Not many things compare.”

You only notice that your stomach is in knots when there’s a lull in their conversation. “Can I have another?” You ask Josie instead of asking the blind man- Matt; instead of asking Matt if you can shake his hand.

-0-

“Hey, Josie.”

She regards you with judgemental eyes. “You looking to expand your horizons as an alcoholic? It’s 10 in the morning.”

“Why are you open this early?”

“Because there are a lot of alcoholics in town.”

“Makes sense. You’re a shrewd businesswoman, Josie.”

“What do you want?”

You sigh. “Okay, so I’m about to sound like a crazy person but hear me out.”

She glares but doesn’t stop you.

“Do you remember those two guys next to me at the bar the other night?”

“Only because they help me out with legal issues.”

“So, you call them when something happens?”

“You want the blind one’s number?”

“Well, that’s a rude assumption. I could be talking about either one of them.”

She leans on the bar and stares you down until you break.

“Okay, yes, I want his number but I swear I’m not a stalker.”

She takes a business card from her bra and slaps it down on the counter. “This is only because I've heard you ramble about not being able to see the color of scotch or beer. And I heard their conversation too. Good luck.”

“Oh my god, thank you.”

She waves a hand in dismissal. As she watches you leave she calls your name.

You stop at the door and face her.

“Don’t hurt that boy. He’s been through too much in his life.”

“Of course. See you later, Josie.”

-0-

Now that you have a way to contact him, it petrifies you. What if you make this big deal out of it, only to find out that he’s not your soulmate? Or what if he is? What do you do then? But he sounded like he wanted to meet his soulmate. Isn’t it your obligation to the both of you to find out? So, you put your pride away and call.

“Nelson and Murdock, this is Karen speaking, how may I help you?”

“Hi, um, is Mr. Murdock there?”

“Uh, he’s not in right now, but I can get Mr. Nelson for you.”

“Um, it’s okay, I’ll call back.”

“Are you sure? Is there a message I can pass on?”

You think about it long enough for her to ask if you’re still there. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t be calling his place of work, but-” you stop. “You know what? Never mind. I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Hey, wait- hello?”

“I’m still here.”

“Can I at least get your number so he can call you back?”

You let out a breath. “Why not? It’s not like I can embarrass myself much more.”

She lets out a skeptical noise. “I have some experiences that beat this by miles.”

You laugh. “Thanks for humoring me.”

“Hey, you called for a reason I assume.”

-0-

Your phone rings before you have the chance to overthink your decision-making skills.

“Hello?”

“Hi, it’s Matt Murdock. You called asking for me?”

“Yes. I did. Okay, this is going to sound weird.”

“I’m listening.”

“So, I was at Josie’s the other night and I overheard you talking with your friend. I’m sorry, I swear I’m not a stalker.”

“That would be easier to believe if you told me why you're calling.”

“Right, I’m sorry. There’s a possibility that we’re soulmates.”

He lets out a laugh, but you don’t hear humor in it. “Wow. People have tried to lie to me about this before, but never so fast.”

“I’m not lying. And that’s low, I’m sorry that people are jerks. I don't- I’ve never seen amber before. I’ve seen yellow; I’ve seen brown; I haven’t seen amber. It’s not a common eye color. Then I overheard you and your friend and it sounded too familiar. I thought there might be a reason why I went out instead of buying some boxed wine and calling it a night as usual. But if you don’t want to meet me I’ll leave you alone.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry.” He runs a hand down his face. “I’m used to people… being jerks. If there’s a chance that we’re meant to be together I’d love to meet you. It’s not like I have anything to lose.”

“Great!” You clear your throat, trying to cover the over excitement there. “When do you want to meet?”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but this is going to gnaw at me until I have an answer. Do you have plans tonight?”

“No.”

“Do you like Italian?”

“What kind of question is that? Have you ever met anyone who doesn’t like pizza and pasta?”

“You’re right, I don’t know what I was thinking.” You can hear the grin in his voice. “Uh, I’m 98% sure My coworkers are in the reception room with a cup to my door, so I’m gonna go. I’ll let you pick the place and text me the details.”

“Okay, see you then.”

-0-

Matt gets to the restaurant half an hour early, finding a discreet corner booth. The longer he sits there alone, the more he gets his hopes up. Despite how often he has to remind himself that this is only a possibility. And not a likely one at that.

He doesn’t even know what to listen for. He was too relaxed that night at the bar, and he wasn’t paying close attention to the girl a couple seats over. Then someone comes up to his table with the host.

“Mr. Murdock, Miss l/n, Your server should be with you shortly.”

You both murmur your thanks as he walks away.

“Uh, hi. I’m Matt.” He extends his hand when he hears you slide into the opposite side of the booth.

You introduce yourself and clasp hands with him.

Matt sees- he actually sees for the second that you touch before he jumps in his seat, pulling his hand back. Then he panics that it was only that first touch.

“I’m sorry when I touched your hand, I could see. I didn’t- it startled me. Could- we try that again?” He takes off his glasses.

“Yeah, of course.” You reach across the table, taking one of his hands in yours. He jumps again. His eyes that were vacant a second ago, gaze into yours.

“Matt, I can see your eye color.” You state as he sits across from you, speechless.

“I can see you.” He murmurs. “Y/n, I can see you.” He looks around the room, taking everything in. “I know I don’t know you, but it feels significant.”

“I’d say that a blind man seeing again is significant.”

He lets out a breath of a laugh. “Yeah, of course. I guess I mean that you feel significant.”

“To be honest, I’ve had a feeling about you since I overheard you and your friend talking at Josie’s. I’m not usually so bold but I couldn’t stop thinking what if, you know?”

A fond smile has crept onto his face at your ramblings. “I’m starting to.”

-0-

It’s still early, so of course, you can’t take how you feel as something solid. Something that will stay with you your whole life. You’ve heard of plenty of soulmates who didn’t click at first. Ever the pessimist- or one could argue the realist- you tried to keep that in mind. That way, when you met this person, they wouldn't disappoint you. But that isn’t how this whole soulmate business is panning out at all. Matt is sweet, romantic, mild-mannered, and you couldn’t ask for anything more.

It makes you want to hide him away and protect him from the rest of the world. And that’s when it hits you. That feeling, the one that you get every time you think about him, it’s love. Because, the thing is: you know that he’s more than capable. But you still feel that overwhelming urge to have him close and protect him. You wish you already knew everything about him, but you still never want to stop listening to him. But most of all, you want him beside you as you grow together.

The next time you meet up, you want to tell him about your discovery more than you know how to articulate, but you can’t let it out. You’re afraid he’s not in the same spot and you’ll weird him out. You know it's ridiculous; you’re soulmates. He has to know that you’re hoping to be in it for the long haul. But that knowledge doesn’t stop you from holding back.

Today, you’re not doing anything- just sitting on your sofa with him- but usually, you’re talking or at least catching him up on movies.

“Sweetheart, is something wrong?” He squeezes your hand, studying your face because he can.

“Not exactly.”

“What’s going on?” When you don’t respond right away, he continues. “You know, whenever you see me, your heart races, but it calms down after a few minutes. The last couple times we’ve been together, it’s been erratic the whole time. I can tell something’s off. I didn’t want to put you on the spot, so I didn’t mention it.”

You sigh. “Okay, okay. I love you.”

He waits for the but, except, it never comes. Then he realizes. I love you. That’s what you’ve been worried about telling him. He lets out a laugh when he puts it together. “That’s what’s had you so keyed up for the last week?”

You shrug. Even though it’s far from a rejection, it still hurts a little not to hear it back.

“Oh, sweetheart. I love you too. So much. I’m so glad you found me.” He leans in, brushing his lips against yours, letting you press into the kiss.

You slot your lips together, cupping his face with one hand and wrapping your other arm around his waist. You don’t know how long you sit like that, holding each other, lips slotting together, but when you part, you’re both smiling.

“I had serious doubts that I would ever find my soulmate. When I was old enough to care, I figured I’d have to wait for someone- you to find me. Then I'd have to take it on your word and heartbeat that we're meant to be together. I never imagined that I’d get to see the proof with my own two eyes.”

“It’s crazy that it works like that. But what do you mean you'd have to take it on my heartbeat?”

Matt freezes. Looks like this conversation is happening earlier than he expected.

-0-

It’s months before you get into your first real fight. Your knees are touching as you sit cross-legged on the bed.

“Matt, you can’t go off making decisions for both of us like that. That’s not how this works. I understand that what you do both as a lawyer and vigilante is important, but so is our relationship. At least it is to me.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t do that. You know I love you more than anything. Don’t act like you’re the only one who cares here.”

“Well, you could’ve fooled me.”

He looks at you in disbelief. “How can you say that? How can you not see that I’m trying to protect you here?”

When he shifts away, you follow him. “That’s the problem, Matt. You’re the one bringing the danger here.”

“That’s ridiculous. The Hand, Fisk, Bullseye- they’re all going to exist, they’re all going to poison this city no matter what. That isn’t my fault.”

“No, but it’s not actually your job to get involved. Now, I moved forward with you early on, knowing that you’re Daredevil. That was my choice, I get that. My problem is that you’re not communicating. You’re taking that choice away from me, assuming you know best. News flash, Matt: you’re not the most mentally stable person out there. It wouldn’t kill you to talk things out.”

“No, but it might get someone else killed.”

“Matt, people are going to get hurt. They’re going to suffer and die because that’s the world we live in. That doesn’t mean that you have to be a reckless idiot. I know you crave a better tomorrow, but if you keep going how you’re going, you’re not going to get one. Good or bad.”

That’s when it dawns on him. He might not want to hear it, but you’re coming from the exact same place he is. You’re trying to protect him. He deflates, crossing his arms. He can’t bring himself to look at you right now, so he stares at his lap. That's when he notices that your knees are still touching as you sit facing each other on the bed. He knows it’s not an accident. Every time he moved, you’d follow even though you were angry. It’s what makes him look up.

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” He reaches out to take your hand. You flinch away from his touch at first, but as he goes to retract his hand, you squeeze it. “I uh, I think we both have some valid points but we’re also upset. Can we put a pin in this until we can look at it with clearer heads?”

“Well, how can I talk to you about communicating and say no to that?”

He smiles. “Thank you.”

You hum in response. You wish it was as easy as 'putting a pin in it.' That you could put all those emotions into a neat little box until you can handle them. But Matt pulls you out of your thoughts.

“You know, you show me that you love me every day, in more ways than I could recount right now. But do you know what brought me back to reality while we were arguing?”

“What?”

“Even though you were mad, you stayed close. You didn't get up and pace or even move away. You did the opposite. You made sure we were touching. You didn't take my sight from me even though it wouldn’t have hurt me if you did.”

You let out a breath. “Oh, Matt, just because I'm mad doesn't mean I stopped loving you. Fuck, that's why I was upset.”

“I know.” He pauses. “Will you push me away if I try to kiss you?”

You shake your head and let out a breath. “No, Matt.”

“Good.” He leans in, taking your chin in his hand and pressing your lips together. “I love you.” He offers, looking up at you through his lashes when he pulls back.

“Matt, how am I supposed to stay mad when you’re being so sweet?”

“I was hoping you’d forgive me.” He ducks his head down.

You kiss his cheek. “Just talk to me, okay? I’m not going to be a passenger in my own life.”

He nods. “Yeah, I understand.”

-0-

It’s only been a little over a year, but Matt knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You are soulmates, after all. He’s allowed to be sure.

It’s a slow day, where neither of you has to do anything, so you’re sitting on the sofa together. You’re on opposite ends, legs tangled together, enjoying having one another there. It’s something Matt feels is underrated. Of course, he loves holding you close, but sometimes it’s nice to be separate people, comfortable in the silence together. It also gives him some space to plan. That’s one thing he never thought he’d care about: social media sites. But now that he can see, he’s starting to see the merit. He’s currently looking at wedding rings. The problem is that you have such specific and versatile taste that he has no idea what you’d want. He glances over at you, your brow furrowed as you scroll through your phone. Then he does possibly the most impulsive thing he’s ever done.

“Y/n, will you marry me?” The words rush out before he can overthink it.

“Uh-” You blink a few times, trying to process what he said. “What?”

“I love you, so much.” He lets out a breath. “I mean, we’re soulmates. We’ve been together a while now. We’ve had our disagreements, gotten past the initial doe-eyed stage, and seen each other’s flaws. I don’t know about you, but I only love you more, knowing you’re human and as strong-willed as I am.”

“Stubborn, Matt. The word you’re looking for is stubborn.”

He laughs. “Well forgive me for looking on the bright side.”

You shrug. “It keeps me guessing.”

He pauses for a moment. “Uh, back to what I was saying. I know I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You don’t have to answer right away, obviously.”

“Well, I’m going to because I love you too.” You lean in and kiss him. “Yes, Matthew, I’ll marry you.”

He lets out a breath of relief and pulls you close. When he moves, you’re only actually touching him through clothes, so he can’t see, but he doesn’t care. Right now he has you in his arms and he isn’t letting go.

When you pull back, it’s only to fit yourself to his side and intertwine your fingers. “What made you choose now to propose?”

“Honestly? Ten minutes of looking at wedding rings. I wanted to get it before I proposed, make it a big, traditional thing. But I looked over at you, curled up on the sofa, completely at ease, going about your day, and it tumbled out.”

“You were looking at wedding rings?”

“Uh, yeah. There were too many, I didn’t know what you’d like. That was part of the problem.”

“Matt, look.” You show him your phone which you have opened to a Pinterest search of men’s wedding bands.

He glances at it before taking your chin and pressing his lips to yours. “Can I see which ones you were looking at?”

“Yeah, I pinned a slew of them to edit later.”

He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer. “Wow, they’re all unique. I usually see silver bands.”

“I know. I was sure there had to be some that weren’t just hideous bands of metal. I’ve seen a couple men with jeweled wedding rings, but they’re all old man jewelry.”

He laughs. “These are good, though. Uh, can I?” He reaches for your phone.

You hand it over- a true sign of trust.

As he scrolls through them, he points out ones he likes. A couple he doesn’t. Then he sees it. It’s a steel band but it has little holes in it. It’s just a jumble of letters, but it’s customizable and braille.

“That’s the one.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it, but I liked it too.”

“It means a lot to me that you think of these things. Especially because you know I’m more abled than I make myself out to be.”

“What can I say? I’m your soulmate.”

He chuckles.

“Really though, I’ve thought about it and even if your radar helps you, it’s still your weakest sense. You can do things better and easier if you can use your other senses.”

“Uh, yeah.” He states in disbelief. “Not even Foggy realizes that. Or at least he’s never said so. People usually say ‘Oh, you can basically see then.’ and leave it at that. It's too much effort to argue. I actually can see with you and you still-” he shakes his head. “I love you.”

“Love you too. So, what were you looking at?”

He lets out a breath. “I don't even know. There were so many.” He pauses. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about this, so don’t feel bad for shooting it down. You know how your grandmother gave you that piece of amber to carry around so you’d know when you found me?”

“Yeah…”

“I was thinking that we could get it shaped and set, maybe with diamonds around it or something. You know, because now that we're together, it can be a testament to our love.”

“Matt, that’s- I don’t know what to say. I love it.”

He grins. “I’m glad.”


End file.
